Inner life · 1 min read
There is nothing broken here
The moment I stopped trying to fix people, and what it changed in all of my work.
During a healing session some time ago, I noticed something in myself: an impulse to fix. To find what was wrong and make it right.
And then, quietly, a different sentence: there is nothing broken here.
It changed the question I was asking. Not "what do I need to change in this person?" but "how can I meet this person in a way that supports their own process?"
Not denying the difficulty
This doesn't mean pretending pain isn't real. People come with real tension, real discomfort, real questions. I don't need to deny someone's pain to see their potential. And I don't need to define them by their pain to take it seriously.
What changes
When I stop approaching someone as a problem, something softens on both sides. I listen better. I'm less busy proving something. And the other person has more room to notice what's actually happening for them.
Most of us learn protective patterns along the way. They made sense once. The work isn't to tear them down, but to make it possible to relate to them differently.
Across the work
I learned this in healing, but it now runs through everything I do: in massage, in training, in coaching, in how I read a chart. The chart isn't a verdict. The body isn't a broken machine. The person isn't a problem to be solved.
The purpose is not to make anyone acceptable. They already are.